Bigger is Always Better

So the spider kill…I mean, the chicks are about a smidge over a month old now. Well, it’s been 5 weeks since I brought them home from the store. Lord! They grew fast. Their original coop was supposedly supposed to fit four full-grown chickens. Yeah, only if you want your soldiers fighting amongst themselves for space. I needed to add larger space for them and fast. Luckily for me, I was taught to save every usable piece of scrap lumber I create or find. And use it, I did.

I built an addition onto the barracks.

It looks pretty ghetto, but it works. The chicks love the extra space and access to whatever bugs have been ticking them off. I’ve never seen chickens attack an insect with such ferocity! Like, the chicks were in their little space and the bugs were outside the fence, saying “Oh big bad chickens! Can’t get me can you?”

Well…they got gotten. The neighbor kids have taken to bringing over insects to feed to the soldiers. So much so, they developed a touch of chicken constipation. To help combat that, I gave them some watermelon scraps and asked the kids to ask me before they are given any more. Did my soldiers let a little constipation stop them? Absolutely not! They gobbled up the watermelon, pooped, and continued to attack the bugs.

Such good little soldiers! They’re prodigies, really. They know what they need to do and by golly, they’re gonna do it!

Even when their Drill Instructor calls them “Chicken Nugget,” “Chicken Tender,” “Fried Chicken,” and “Sunday Dinner.” Once they pass basic training and get moved to the bigger coop, they will need proper names befitting their personalities. I have a few in mind, but will have to wait for the transition ceremony.

Just as soon as I get the bigger coop and run built. I cannot wait to get started because the Spider King isn’t pulling any punches this year. He continues to throw his minions at me. He must be running out of minions because the spiders I’m squishing are getting smaller and smaller. OH! And he’s enlisted the aid of the ANT ARMADA! And the worst battalion of the Ant Armada; the little tiny ones - you know, those little fuckers that get into the sugar bowl. Messing with my sugar is low, but what do I expect from the Spider Kingdom? He must be getting desperate.

Good. My soldiers will annihilate him.

Oh Lord, I AM losing my mind, aren’t I?